A Heart That Trusts

I’ve been reading a lot lately — taking in as many beautiful words as I can.

And in the midst of all those words and stories, God’s been speaking to me.

His main message? Trust.

I finished One Thousand Gifts this weekend, and I feel like I could keep going back and rereading so many of the pages (which I’m doing a bit of this afternoon, as a matter of fact, as I write this blog).

The author, Ann Voskamp, writes such challenging and inspirational words about trust — an area of my faith that I feel God is really challenging me in this season. It’s tough work — this pruning, this teaching that He’s doing in my heart and in my life, but I believe the fruit of it will push me even closer to Him and give me bold courage to follow wherever He leads.

I liked that in One Thousand Gifts, Ann talks about trust being work, taking action, taking discipline: Believe is a verb, something that you do. Then the truth is that authentic, saving belief must also be? The very real, everyday action of trusting. Then a true saving faith is a faith that gives thanks, a faith that sees God, a faith that deeply trusts?

And she says that our daily work must be to trust, referencing John 6:29 AMP — Jesus replied, This is the work (service) that God asks of you: that you believe in the One Whom He has sent [that you cleave to, trust, rely on, and have faith in His Messenger]. She then writes: To trust in the Son, to trust in the wisdom of this moment, to trust in the now. And trust is that: work. The work of trusting love. Intentional and focused.

I think about how my trust in God has ebbed and flowed during the last few months. How I’ve questioned Him and wrestled with Him a bit over various circumstances I’ve found myself navigating.

But like Ann, I believe this, too:  I know my supreme need is joy in God, and I know I can’t experience deep joy in God until I deep trust in God.

Trust is everything, she writes.

I think she’s right.

Her main focus of the book is the practice of eucharisteo (giving thanks), hence the book’s title One Thousand Gifts. And in her chapter specifically about trust, she connects the two beautifully.

I am changing, deep changing, and I am giving thanks, doing eucharisteo and eucharisteo is eureka, and I know why there’s no fear and why had I never seen it before?

Thanks is what builds trust.

Such a simple sentence with such immense meaning. Thanks is what builds trust.

She goes on to write:
How do you count on life when the hopes don’t add up?
…
The hopes don’t have to add up. The blessings do.
…
Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on.

* * *

I’m going to continue to count my own blessings and share them, here.

And as I abide in Him, and He in me, I look forward to discovering more of who He is and more of what He has planned for me.

{Imagine the Possibilities artwork by Penelope Dullaghan from the book Desire to Insire}

Giving Thanks

This week, my heart is thankful for:

Adventuring in New York City
Delicious chocolate samples (and that heavenly chocolate smell!) at the Brooklyn-based chocolate factory Mast Brothers
Dining outdoors (cute, quirky cafes are my favorite)
Visiting the Brooklyn Art Library (and reuniting with my sketchbook!)
Coffee and pain au chocolat (Le Pain Quotidien is amazing!)
The grandeur and timeless charm of the New York Public Library
Finding THE PERFECT pair of new specs—fingers crossed I can find them now that I’m back home! ;)
Scribbled notes while reading
Waking up to sunshine
The often hard, but very necessary practice of eucharisteo (giving thanks) and what it’s doing in my heart

P.S. These are the dream specs mentioned above that I found during my travels. I’m currently checking to see if I can order them now that I’m back home… What do you think? :)

Giving Thanks

This week, my heart is thankful for…

Stacks of good books to read; exciting adventures ahead; a heart that’s learning to trust Him more; a sweet friend’s encouraging words; incredible weather; lots of sunshine; prayer walks; His faithfulness; and His ability to renew and restore

What are you thankful for this week?

What I Needed Today

I needed to get out today — away from the clutter at home and the clutter in my mind.
I needed to feel the sunshine and the wind in my hair.
I needed to let the sounds of people talking, children playing, and the chimes of a nearby church’s bells surround me — but not distract me.
I needed to write out my prayers and get lost in a book.
I needed to feel my pen move across the page, capturing thoughts and questions, hopes and doubts.
I needed to seek God and know that He was right there with me.

So, I did.

And it was lovely.

I want to create hope & celebrate life.

I recently finished reading Shauna Niequist’s two books, Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet. I really connected with her writing, underlining certain passages and going back to re-read things. Her words spoke to my heart in so many ways.

I share her desire to pay attention to and give thanks for the little things, appreciating the everyday delights I am blessed with. And I, too, believe in the importance and power of storytelling and creating.

I know I’ve mentioned both books in recent posts, but I’d love to share a few passages from Cold Tangerines that I continue to go back to. I’ll share my thoughts on Bittersweet in an upcoming post.

Many of the sections that I starred and underlined in Cold Tangerines were about faith, trust, and truly embracing life as you’re living it — every minute, every hour, every day, every season. And like I’ve shared here before, that’s something I’m continually working on in my own beautifully imperfect life. And every day, I want my faith and hope to increase a little more, knowing that things are unfolding just as they’re meant to.

So, on to a few quotes… :)

“What gives me hope is the belief that God will be faithful, because He has been faithful before, to me and the people around me. I need the reminders. I need to be told that He was faithful then, and then, and then. Just because I have forgotten how to see doesn’t mean it isn’t there. His goodness is there. His promises have been kept. All I need to do is see.”

Keeping a journal helps me to look back and see His faithfulness and allows me to look forward with hope, knowing that He’ll continue to be.

“Life with God at its core is about giving your life up to something bigger and more powerful. It’s about saying at every turn that God knows better than we know, and that His Spirit will lead us in ways that we couldn’t have predicted.”

This quote has been on my heart all week. It’s been nudging me to give up control, trusting that His plan and His timing are perfect.

“I’m learning to just keep moving, keep walking, keep taking teeny tiny steps. And it’s in those teeny tiny steps and moments that I become, actually who I am.”

I love that thought. It’s from a chapter called Writing in Pencil, which I can completely relate to. I am the ultimate planner/daydreamer, always thinking about what’s ahead and what it will look like and what I’ll do when I get there, or there, or there. (See also her chapter called Waiting.) :)

And, finally, I’ll leave you with this last passage:

“I choose to do what I can do to create hope, to celebrate life, and the act of celebrating connects me back to that life I love. We could just live our normal, day-to-day lives, saving all the good living up for someday, but I think today, just plain today, is worth it. I think it’s our job, each of us, to live each day like it’s a special occasion, because we’ve been given a gift. We get to live in this beautiful world. When I live purposefully and well, when I dance instead of sitting it out, when I let myself laugh hard, when I wear my favorite shoes on a regular Tuesday, that regular Tuesday is better.”

So, here’s to plain-old, ordinary days — and here’s to this weekend. I want to appreciate every sweet, simple moment. And every day, like Shauna, I want to ask myself, What can I do today that brings more beauty, more energy, more hope?

{k}

We were made to create.

We create because we were made to create, having been made in the image of God, whose first role was Creator. He was and is a million different things, but in the beginning, He was a creator. That means something for us, I think. We were made to be the things that He is: forgivers, redeemers, second-chance givers, truth-tellers, hope-bringers. And we were certainly, absolutely, made to be creators. ~Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

Lately, I am devouring Shauna Niequist’s words. Underlining passages, re-reading favorite sections, truly taking in each and every page. I finished her book Cold Tangerines a few days ago, and I’m almost finished with Bittersweet.

I love the quote above about being made to create. I am a writer, an editor, a painter. I create stories with words and paint, and I don’t feel like myself without those things.

My mom and sister create lesson plans that truly impact children’s lives. And my mom also creates the loveliest flowerpots. Her eye just naturally combines colors and plants to create beautiful, living works of art. Both of my parents create culinary masterpieces, cooking meals that nourish friends and family. Some friends of mine sing and create music that moves you like nothing else can. Other friends of mine, make art behind the lens of a camera.

Creativity is truly limitless.
Even if you don’t feel like you’re creative, you are—because you were made in His image, and you were made to create.

So keep making your beautiful, meaningful artwork—whatever it is—knowing it’s part of what makes you, you, and it’s one of the things you were created to do.

{k}

The Small Things

Isn’t it those small things that add the necessary shape and meaning to our lives? And don’t we miss seeing them if we look too hard for the big things?” —Elizabeth Berg, Ordinary Lives.

Lately, I’m trying to remember to pay attention to the small things. The quote above from Elizabeth Berg is part of a post I wrote almost two years ago. Elizabeth’s words still tug at my heart and make me smile.

Hope you’re having a beautiful week — full of small wonders and happy moments.

{k}

Your Story is Beautiful

{Gorgeous lettering by Kal Barteski}

I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don’t want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift. ~ From the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

(Thank you, Jaclyn Rae, for sharing her quotes on your lovely blog. That book is definitely going on my to-read list!)

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to live that way and what it means to truly love MY story—the one God’s designed just for me. So often, I feel like we compare our lives to other people’s. I know I certainly do. I’ll look at other people my age who are at different places in their lives and wonder, should I be doing what they’re doing? But the beautiful thing is, every person’s story is different. I want to be excited about my own story, rather than looking at another person’s and wondering if mine should look more like theirs.

I don’t want to rush through the days, as though I’m running a race to get to the next chapter or life season. I want to wake up each day with a thankful heart, awaiting the Lord’s direction. I want to admire the beauty in my world, chase my dreams, and encourage others.

Kal’s “I Love Right Now” print perfectly captures what’s on my heart, because that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to sing praises to the Lord for bringing me to this moment in my life. I want to be excited about what’s to come, without ignoring the blessings he’s giving me right now, today, in this moment.

Whatever life chapter you’re currently in, I hope you know that your story matters—and that it’s beautiful and uniquely yours.

{k}

Happiness is…

 

…a cup of coffee and a good book.

I once read a book called Perfect Elizabeth, and while I forget most of the novel, I remember these lines:

“She trusts novels not life. In novels, things work out according to plan; in life the plot is entirely unmanageable.”

(Confession: I had to Google the quote to discover that it was from the novel…)

But anyway, I remember loving those two sentences, because truthfully, sometimes I prefer getting lost in a book myself… ;-) Life can be so complicated, and it’s fun to escape for a bit into someone else’s life, knowing that by the last page, everything will be wrapped up, all nice and neat.

* * *

I have the itch to do some writing this weekend. Perhaps poetry, as I haven’t written any in quite some time. We’ll see where the muse takes me.

So, for now, I’m going to sit down with my caramel latte and my journal and do a little brainstorming—enjoy a little wordplay.

Hope you’re warm and cozy today,

{ K }

One Salty Sweet Night

Last night, I finished reading Sarah Addison Allen’s book, Sugar Queen. This was—by far—my favorite of her three novels. Perhaps, it’s because I would love to have books magically appear in my life just when I need them, like they do for one of the book’s characters. :-) Perhaps, it’s because I happen to be the same age as the main character. But it’s actually probably a combination of those things, plus the fact that I found this storyline to be one of her best.

Sugar Queen’s main character, Josey, lives a life that centers around caring for her mother.  She sweetens her sheltered life by retreating to a secret compartment of her closet (where she indulges in her favorite candies and cookies, and daydreams while reading romance novels and travel magazines).

Josey’s routine is suddenly disrupted when she discovers a local woman named Della Lee Baker has taken up residence in her closet. Della, a rough-around-the-edges kind of woman, needs a place to stay for a while to escape her life of bad choices. And she’s decided that while she’s seeking refuge in Josey’s closet, she’s going to help her discover who she’s really meant to be and the kind of life she can be living—one that takes her outside of the comfortable confines of her closet.

Sugar Queen is a sweet, heart-warming novel about being brave, taking chances, and opening our hearts. And it’s about the amazing ways people can come unexpectedly into our lives and change them forever.

To accompany me on last night’s evening of reading, I made a little mug of Starbuck’s salted caramel hot chocolate (a delicious Christmas gift I received). I love that the hot chocolate is dark chocolate (my favorite!) and that there is just a subtle hint of caramel and the slightest salty tang. YUM!

I also pasted and painted a bit in my Sketchbook. Reading Sugar Queen actually got me thinking about the new year and all the memories and adventures to come. I wonder what He has planned for me in the new year, and I can’t help thinking about a quotation I know I’ve shared with you before:

“And now let us welcome the New Year full of things that have never been.” Rainer Maria Rilke. “

I have dreams on my heart that I’d love to explore in the new year. I want to learn, grow, and be challenged. I want to grow in my faith and continue to be shaped into the woman He wants me to be. I’m definitely ready to welcome 2011, ready to begin discovering this new year full of things that have never been.

P.S. If you have a lot of dreams on your heart for the new year, you might be interested in a recent blog post by the talented Elsie Flannigan at A Beautiful Mess.

I’m definitely going to work on tip #4:  Love your working atmosphere.

In fact, I think I’ll start working on redesigning my working space today. :-)

Have a lovely day! I hope it’s

i  n  s  p  i  r  e  d.

K